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I hate horror movies. They are quite predictable and they make me feel very uncomfortable. Especially the ones with kids and ghosts. It’s a big no from me. Anyways, today I made you a list (I know you missed these!) of things that make horror movies unwatchable for me. Hope you’ll relate somehow and if not, do let me know what you think about this kind of movies!
8 reasons why I dislike horror movies:
The background music is the worst part | The reason why horror movies are so intense and are found scary isn’t because of the plot (mostly) but the music itself. That creepy music isn’t cute at all. Funny thing is that you do know when something bad will happen because of it but you still shit your pants. It’s ridiculous!
“Based on a true story” is never a good start | This line is probably one of the scariest ones out there. Are you telling me that some lady was murdered by a ghost that used to be her daughter and now she’s roaming the Earth looking for her next victim? Okay, sounds legit. Now, please, do let me pack my bags and move out to Mars. I HATE this line and it makes me paranoid. It makes me believe in ghosts and other crap. Actually, it makes me scared to go to a doctor because it’s very likely that she or he is a freaking psycho who wants to kill all 18 years old in my town!
Hottest characters are either dead, psycho or soon to be dead | It’s so annoying! There is always that one hot person in the movie that gets killed or turns out to be the killer himself. It’s not fair. Why all of my crushes are psychos? How do I need to hate him for raping her mother if he’s cute af? If you got this reference, you are the real MVP.
Stupid decisions are made every second | I heard a ring in the middle of the night, so I’ll just turn all of the lights out and go open the door! Oh, look, I am hearing strange noises in my house at 3a.m., I’ll just ask if anyone’s here, maybe he or she will join my pizza party. C’mon! How’s that logic? And don’t get me started on “Let’s split up” part… WHO DOES THAT?! You are the dead man already, might as well take a knife and end it yourself.
They make you paranoid | As much as I don’t like it I admit that horror movies make me a mess. I get paranoid and scared of even the dumbest things. Shower for example, how am I supposed to shower in peace if just a few hours ago I saw how a girl got murdered by snakes that popped out of her shower head? Maybe, this time, the blood will flow out of it and I somehow will drown in it? HORROR MOVIES MAKE ME STUPID. Please, don’t tell me I’m the only one scared of mirrors, showers and other crap after watching a scary movie?
People are clumsy | It stresses me out every time when a girl or a cute guy trips over NOTHING, might I add, or over the most obvious items and gets killed because of that. Why do you do this to me? Why can’t you just get up fast and run like a normal person who’s about to get slashed? Why you all lying there and enjoying the comfort of cold hard ground and looking back? Don’t take ‘look death in the eye’ saying too seriously, bro. Save me some unneeded stress and be Usain Bolt, will you?
First time is always a fail | It’s proven by hundreds of horror movies that first time will never be a successful one. If you somehow murder the killer, chances are that he isn’t fully dead and will stand up. Trying to lose a virginity will end up with you being dead because that’s how it works in horror movies. So if you are trying to kill someone, do it twice or thrice just to make sure. If you think that the ghost is gone, please, reevaluate your whole existence because it really isn’t.
Horror movies have no end | That’s a fact. Tell me a single horror movie that ended happily. Nada. There is always something in the end that informs us that in fact, no, this ain’t over, my friend. There are seven more psychos like the one you just killed out there and they about to get you. There will always be one killer, ghost, item or other object left that will make this ending not happy, okay? It’s just the way it works. And that stresses me. Because I am all up here being a happy camper that the killer is all dead, and all the ghosts are gone, and that cute guy survived, and BAM! Cutie’s throat is slashed, blood is everywhere and a hysterical laugh from nowhere appears. The effing end. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE CALM AND COLLECTED NOW?
These are the main things that stress me out while watching a horror movie. I think you get the picture that I am not the biggest fan of horror movies and I am good with that. Let’s just say that they aren’t my cup of tea.
Do you like horror movies?
Can you relate? What annoys you the most about horror movies?