Have you ever been judged or judged someone because your views didn’t match with their views?
I bet all of you at least once in your life did that. Be that intentionally or accidently. I am no exception too. I got judged and I got judged a lot by other people on how I dress, how I act, how I live or how I think. It doesn’t affect me as much as it used to when I hear a phrase what in a way should judge my actions. But I still get a bit angry that some people still are thinking in a very narrow-minded way.
I want to give a very silly and simple example to you, I refuse to eat pizza with a fork and a knife, I believe that pizza is meant to be eaten with hands. It tastes better that way to me and I just cannot be bothered with a long process of cutting it into small, one bite pieces with a knife, it takes forever, makes my pizza cold, and it’s just not right for me. So whenever I go to any place to eat pizza, I do it with my hands. If it’s some kind of fancy restaurant, then I will eat with a knife and a fork, but let’s be real here, what kind of a fancy restaurant would serve a very greasy and delicious pizza?
Some people don’t understand this habit of mine, and they proceed to roll their eyes at me, and throw phrases like ‘can you eat like a normal person?’, ‘don’t say that you will eat with your hands again’, ‘this is a restaurant’. The last one being always wrong because I’m too broke for restaurants, so you will never see me in those. All these accusations angry me but mostly they sadden me.
You don’t see me accusing others of using a knife and a fork for pizza, I don’t call those people weird or throw phrases that in a way would ridicule them for eating the pizza the way they want. I am sticking to my way of it, and I respect (and applaud for having so much patience because I surely can’t do that) their choice. So the question is, why are they doing this? Why can’t we all accept the fact that there are people what eat pizza differently than most?
This is only a small and maybe in a way funny example of this, so here’s another one. My brother hasn’t been christened and he’s 12 now, so some people down right told me that this is abnormal, our family is abnormal because we simply didn’t live the way most people do. Our family isn’t very religious and you wouldn’t see us going to a church normally unless there is a very important case like wedding or funeral. So it does baffle me when people say that we aren’t normal just because we don’t follow the rules of family life that other people make up in their head. I don’t judge people or laugh at them that they believe in God or go to church every Sunday, I respect them and their religion, I respect everyone’s choice to do the things they want as long as they don’t interfere with others people happiness and well-being. So why can’t they?
It’s not just a pizza and christening anymore, I can see this pattern everywhere these days. You see people judging each other for the way they look, dress or approach a subject that is different than theirs. Especially on social media, you can’t escape this. But what is even more ridiculous to me is the fact that nowadays society is promoting how being unique is alright, how being different is the way you should go.
How can I be different, think outside the box, be unique if I get judged whenever I do something differently than others?
How is that going to work?
I know that I won’t change the whole mindset for the whole world, I know that I won’t stop others from thinking the way they are, but I can try to spark something in you, I can try to make you see that it is completely fucking okay to be the way you are. We have different beliefs, we have different values, we have different priorities, we have different tastes and all of us are different. There is no such thing as the right belief or the right culture. Every culture or belief system is equally good and should be respected. There are 7.5 billion people on this Earth and it’s impossible for all of us to agree on the same topic in the exact same way.
There are great examples of what happens when a person tries to persuade others to believe and think the same way he does. They are called wars, dictations, conflicts, fights, battles. Do you want the world to look like this every single day? That’s what I thought…
Let’s learn that we are all different, unique in a way, we have different values and different mindsets. That is completely okay. That’s how it’s supposed to me. What we need to stop doing is judging people for that, think that they are abnormal and that they don’t understand anything about life, and how it’s supposed to work.
So whenever you will feel like you want to make a comment about how different someone does something, stop and think. Is it necessary? Do I really need to do this? Trust me, your life will be much easier and happier once you’ll learn to accept the fact that we are different and that’s how it’s supposed to be.
Yes, maybe others making money from blogging doesn’t float your boat, maybe YouTubers promoting things on their videos clash with your beliefs, maybe your friend’s long skirts remind you of your grandmother, maybe even that girl you saw yesterday has a unique way of doing her makeup, and maybe people who pour milk first in a bowl look strange to you, but I can assure you that they are human just like you. They might be thinking the same way about you too. So why not spare yourself and instead of maybe upsetting someone, accept it and move on with your life, do the things you love, do them the way you want and be happy.
What do you think about this pattern?
Have you ever experienced judgement about being different?
Have you ever been that person?